"Boy Colors"

Below is an essay I once wrote about my life amid the 'extremes' of masculinity and femininity. I found it relevant to our discussions.

"Boy Colors"

I am a firm believer that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It may seem like a stereotype to say so, but I have witnessed this dichotomy first hand. As the son of the leader of the Martian world, I’ve struggled to keep my head on straight while simultaneously learning the ins and outs of the Venusian civilization. Seeing that I’ve lived amongst four women, three older sisters and a mother, one might assume that I’ve been overwhelmed by femininity. However, my father, a tough Army veteran raised on a corn farm, has certainly counteracted this womanly influence.

I live in a world of opposites. As an infant, my mom and sisters took turns gently rocking me to sleep at night, while my father complained that I should be sleeping in a big-boy bed by age one. At the age of four, my sisters painted my toenails “boy colors” such as blue or green, after my father had me drive a tractor while sitting on his lap. His idea of fun was making us each practice using the fire extinguisher. Dad made sure I knew how to split wood, change a tire, drive a stick shift, and list the entire Red Sox roster all by the age of ten. My sisters, on the other hand, insisted on teaching me how to bake a lovely birthday cake, write a proper thank you note, recognize why Carrie Bradshaw is important, and which colors you can’t wear after Labor Day. After spending a night on a battleship with pops, I spent the remainder of my weekend knitting a scarf with my sisters. One Halloween I was an army man, the next I wore a tutu. It was pink.

Both parties have given me a great deal of perspective on their planets, and I have been able to use this insight in my life and in my artwork. My father’s way (or the highway) of solving problems and taking responsibility for one’s self has given me the strength and diligence to tackle a broken chimney, a leaking ceiling, or a boatload of homework. Dad’s firm discipline has empowered me to accurately translate a live model into a rendered charcoal drawing. My ability to find artistic inspiration and turn a spontaneous notion into a finished work can be attributed to my sisters’ emotional depth and patience. Exposure to a constant female presence has allowed me to develop ease in conversation and flexibility in social climates.

Although the planets are not always alligned, I know I have the skills to navigate both worlds. These strong influences have given me the resolve to go after my goals and the sensitivity to get there with integrity.

So I guess I’ll go watch an episode of Ax Men, and then maybe some Project Runway.